Toke and Tell Episode 2 - Cannabis Helps Me Live Out My Best Life

I'm walking about in my candle studio, and the thought "wow, the universe is really testing me tonight" crosses my mind. I feel as if it's been hit after hit with things just not working out. I find myself in a place of quietness with no thoughts or feelings about the series of events that have taken place today, which is odd, because normally, a fire would be burning under my ass.

What it feels like when the universe be testing you.

It started with the baby having a hard time going to and staying asleep. I believe we are in the midst of a six-month regression. A few trips of running back and forth from the candle studio and to tend to him are required. I find it harder and harder each time to get myself into that mindset of doing something that requires physical labor once I get back into the studio.

Finally, the moment has come and he's fast asleep, after entering the studio I make a discovery of a huge mistake I made. Standing in front of my wax melt warmer, mouth wide open as I realize I burned about 15 pounds of soy wax that is now most likely unusable. This was because I failed to turn off my wax melter and had been running since last night. I started to use the wax in hopes that it would somehow work out, but it did not. I poured enough for two batches; however upon further inspection, I knew in my heart I couldn't compromise the quality and had to take the loss.

After I make that decision, I move on to the next task of printing candle labels. It's not too long before I find myself complaining out loud to no one.

It sounded like this:

"This does not make any sense that the fking printer will not connect to the laptop or wifi. I have been trying for fking days, and I just want to get these dam labels printed. Why the fk will you not connect?"

Suddenly the Mary started calling to me, and I felt the urge to go consume, and that's just what I did. I took about 2 hits, and I was hit with the THC so quickly that I could feel it coursing through my bloodstream at full force. I sit there for a few deep breaths until I can feel the blood circulation settle back down a bit. I did proceed to smoke more after a near panic attack, lol, before making my way back into the studio. The determination is real; "I am going to get these labels printed" I say to myself. However, yet again, the universe has other plans. I am almost there, it's so close I can almost taste it. And then ..... my COMPUTER DIES - I stare at the laptop in disbelief. I can't help but laugh as I throw up my hands saying, "Don't fight it, it is what it is, and tomorrow is a new day".

When the cannabis hits and takes away all the stress.

Now, as I am getting settled into the living room, I get this random thought about how quickly life is moving, and this shit is going to be over before I know it. Morbid, I know lol, but it got me thinking about if I was really about to go out, I would not be too happy looking back at the life I lived. One that was in constant negativity, anxiety, and fear. I want to be able to look back at my life and be happy that I was fully in it, enjoyed each moment to the fullest, and just rolled with whatever life had to throw at me.

Today, and as always, feeling super grateful for the patience power from her majesty, oh mighty Mary tonight. As she gave me the gift of clarity from giving up control and recognizing my ways to make necessary changes to avoid living a life that doesn't satisfy me.

Just out here trying to live my best life.

So, here's to smoking and healing because ya know, cannabis helps me live out my best life!

Until the next session my friends,

xoxo,

Brandy