Toke + Tell Episode 3 - Cannabis Helps Clear the Fog

I was centimeters away from falling off a cliff into a deep body of water with no land in sight. The fog around me was so thick that I could not tell which direction I was heading in. A few more steps in the wrong direction and I would have found myself free-falling straight into that water. I often find myself in this space, sometimes the little scenarios I play in my head about what the situation looks and feels like vary, but more or less, they derive from the same feelings of anxiety.

How it feels when you be trippin'

It is now a little after 10 am, and I say to myself, "I cannot continue my day in this manner; something needs to give". Earlier this morning, I was vibing and dancing to music in the car, even while my little one was crying in the backseat. This sounds awful, I know, but in my defense, this is an everyday thing - he just is not a fan of car rides. So, anyway, I find myself asking the question "when and where did I allow myself to get to this point of standing at the edge of a cliff?".

I took a few deep breaths and tried to remember the moment things went sideways. Recalling everything changing as I walk back into the house after dropping my daughter off at school. The weight of the world hit me like a ton of bricks, with all the pressure of chaos around me. The list of to-dos is crossing my mind at such a rapid rate that I am barely able to process them as they move through my brain. I attempt to move through the morning, but the list keeps replaying over and over, hitting me like a hammer hitting a stubborn nail. With each hit, I was getting pushed closer and closer to the edge of the cliff.

I sat there for a moment, and the next thoughts that crossed my mind were " I should really just go smoke, and take a few hits to calm the fuck down".

Realizing that you need to just calm the fuck down.

I was counting down the moments until it was nap time and I could be relieved of my duties. Finally, the moment arrived, and I made my way outside, lit up a joint, and took a few hits. I sat there and just enjoyed the outdoors, taking notice of the way the wind and sun felt against my skin. This strain had a delayed onset, but once it kicked in, it did not disappoint. About five minutes passed by, and I could feel the magic slowly start to take over.

Once the magic takes over, the fog begins to clear, and suddenly the to-dos don't feel so heavy or overpowering.

I can now feel some peace.

I can still feel all those thoughts of what I need to do within me; however, there's almost like a barrier that was built over them that is allowing me to just be. This allows me to have clarity on how to proceed from here. I am now able to see that I am only one person and I can only do so much with the limited energy and time battery that is available. I begin to review what needs attention, prioritize, and then get to it.

Today's mid-morning session seemed to prove that cannabis helps clear the fog. It saved me from falling off a cliff into a deep body of water that would have swallowed me whole.

In the past, I have allowed myself to fall into that water and tread there for quite some time. I can sadly say, it's not a fun place to be - It feels so dark, heavy, never-ending, and lonely. It becomes unpleasant not only for me, but those around me. Becoming irritable, angry, and the lack of patience feels unbearable. I am truly thankful that I have been able to find something natural that allows me to recognize early on when that space is approaching before it's too late.

When the cannabis brings you back to your best self.

So, here's to sneaking out during naptimes, enjoying some plant medicine, clearing the fog, and getting shit done!

Until the next session my friends,

xoxo,

Brandy